About the Artist
Istudied art at University of Latvia and get my professional degree in arts and pedagogy in 2006. Few years later I started to work at a national museum of art, I left my brushes and canvas behind because it felt like a sin to paint and to work with the greatest painters in Latvia at the same time. If I can’t be as good as they are, I said to myself, I shouldn’t touch my brush.
After 15 years of working in the museum field and a few bad life crisis later, I slowly grow back to who I am. The struggle between fears of losing myself again and the desire to open up and find trust in happiness is very similar to what I experienced when I started to work in museums and art galleries. Back then when I chose to be smart and tamed, I always said to others that art is the place where anyone can be free, but I somehow never let it be so for myself. I became an art viewer and a guide for others. This freedom that art holds is about self-esteem, self-love and courage to speak and finally to be who you actually are.
About Artist’s Work:
I grow up between wild nature and soon found out that you need very peaceful state of heart to deal with that. Mind can blow you up very quickly which heart never does.
I clearly remember few times in my childhood when I was in dangers. I always played with a sleepy cows when I was a child. I sneak under theres necks and gently heckle soft, brown, fluffy skin. It was like a magic for me, like the water skin on bloody unrecognizable river. I was an only child in family, there was no another kids around and animals was my companies and bodies. I speak to them in my mind.
One time I put my hands around cows neck look in her brown sad ayes and gently start brushing her skin, she look at me quietly but something was different. I have strange feeling in my stomach that something is wrong. I took a rope to which it is tied and pull up bit. When cow as I thought stand up I immediately recognize that she is a bull. Go close to bull was a big taboo for children, my parents were very strict about that. You never know what is in his mind, he is strong and aggressive. Only my dad can feed and lead him to pasture and back in barn. When my grandma was young she was famous for how good she can leed crazy mad bulls from barn to shielding. She was a tiny woman with very tender heart, but bulls some how listen to her. When I stood next to this huge animal I didn’t know that yet. I stay stiff because I know I did something wrong, fears come trough me like lightning. The bull behave like a mirror back to me, his nostrils blew air nervously and his eyes were wide open. I was three or four years old but I already know that if you want to deal with animals no fears allowed. So I stood up, put my hand again on bull’s neck and when leave him quietly and peacefully. No doubts, no fears. The peaceful state of heart will lead you better when you ever know.
The same feeling I get in painting process. Art and nature to me is the same because I believe it hold in the same instincts of creativity. You can’t do good art if you aren’t brave enough or free from minds programs and cages. And when there is me, who lose herself in creativity like in birth process, little dirty, and very painful if you try to calculate it with mind. It is like fall in love again after get your heart completely broken at first place. So for now I touch canvas gently with small brushes but I dream that one day I will paint huge paintings with abstract objects on them and lead these composition with love as wild quiet animals.
What does “Home” mean to you:
Home was always a complicated symbol in my dreams. In real life I live in my parents home till 18 – at one place, at one garden with the same people. Our family lived there for five generations. Very safe. But in dreams it was opposite. I was somewhere else struggle to find my way back home. These was serial kind of dreams with very different scenarios but with same message – I struggle to get home.
After I started my studies in Riga, my life get unpredictable. I moved from one place to other, I have lost in relationships and my only safety place was work and parents home. I counted once that in last 20 years I moved to 13 different places and for now I living at rent apartment with number 13 on it. Coincident? I started painting right here in apartment which I rent for me and my daughter and where I live now with my husband and his son from previous relationships. It’s not a perfect life and we aren’t perfect neither. But in my paintings I looking for this perfect place of happiness, beauty and love. Imaginable or real. So I could say they all somehow are about home. And this rent apartment for me is home, were I fought I never make to get in.
Find the Artist on: